My Brother's Smile
by crocious
Summary: In which Prussia has a rare moment of self doubt and it's up to Germany to make him smile again. WARNING: T rating because of implied Russia awfulness.


**Uwaaaaah, this took so long! Why did it take so long? Because I suck! That's why!**

**Title because I couldn't help it. I love the German bros too much not to make it a thing. **

**This is for colej67 and my dearest Boss Iggs! Cole, darling, I'm so sorry Germany went apeshit on Prussia in the Halloween strips! It was totally uncalled for! Feel better! Boss, surprise! I know you were looking for something like this and you're out of town, so when you get back I have a this for you!**

**Oh! Warning! Contains a little implied Russia (insert bad things here.) Poor Prussia! I love him!**

_Prussia was trapped, bound up in ropes that felt like production must have at some point involved fiberglass. It hurt like hell, but he refused to let it show as he glared up at his captor._

"_Kolkolkol," Russia chuckled, more evilly than Prussia ever remembered. "I knew you would come back to me."_

_Prussia tried to hit Russia with some brilliant snarky comeback, but when he opened his mouth, all that came out was blood. A lot of it._

"_Shhh," Russia soothed, patting Prussia's head gently. "Save your strength. You have not a lot, da?"_

_Prussia struggled against the ropes, but they bit angrily into his wrists. His skin suddenly crawled with ants and blood bubbled up from his mouth in protest._

_Russia smiled sweetly. "Why are you fighting? You know you deserve this. Look. No one loves you enough to even try to save you! What does that say about you?"_

_Prussia froze. Blood dripped onto the concrete floor._

"_Not even your family is trying to get you back. They are relieved that you are gone, little Gilbert. They are hoping you die here."_

_Prussia's eyes suddenly burned with resentful tears. He bit his lip and tried to blink them back, but it was too late._

"_Ah," Russia sighed. "The one thing you are good for." _

_The monstrous man bent down and held Prussia's face in his hand. The albino nation tried to fight back, but every inch of his skin burned with ants and he was terrified of the beatings that came with resisting Russia._

_Russia leaned into Prussia's face and traced his tongue up a tear track. "Mmm. That's right. Keep crying, little one. You know how I love to taste."_

_Prussia felt his muscles melt and he closed his eyes against the night._

"AUGH!" Prussia jolted himself out of his nightmare, panting violently. His hand immediately went for the lamp, but he knocked it over, shattering the glass body and the bulb.

"_Sheisse,_" he hissed, flailing. He tumbled out of bed, cutting his palms on the broken lamp. He swore some more and crawled to the light switch, tears of terror and pain flooding his face.

The light came on and Prussia sighed in relief, almost surprised to find that there was no Russia and no menacing faucet.

In the yellow light, Prussia's messy room seemed happier. In fact, it was almost comforting. There was no reason Prussia ever had to leave Germany's basement again and face that giant, cruel world. He could just stay down here and lock the door and be safe.

Prussia hugged his knees and hissed at the pain in his hands. He looked at his palms and grimaced. Shards of glass glared back up at him and scarlet blood leaked out of them. He tried to pull a large piece of lamp out of his palm, but he hissed in pain as it refused to give.

Prussia's head clunked against the wall and he sighed. He was going to need some beer.

…

Prussia crept as quietly as he could down the hall. He heard snoring as he passed Germany's study and stopped. He peered in and smiled softly.

Germany had fallen asleep at his desk again, for the third time this week. His reading glasses were knocked askew and he leaned back in his chair. He was going to get a crick in his neck if he kept sleeping like that.

Prussia leaned against the doorframe and ignored the urgent burning in his hands. He wanted to keep watching his brother sleep.

Germany stirred.

"Nnn…huh?" he said. He blinked and sat up. He suddenly caught sight of Prussia.

"Oh," he said. "Hello, Gilbert. Do you need something?"

Prussia opened his mouth to speak, but Russia's voice suddenly flooded his brain. _"Not even your family is trying to get you back."_

Prussia's eyes suddenly burned and he turned away "_N-nein_!" he called over his shoulder. "Just getting some beer!"

Prussia ran to the kitchen and rubbed his eyes with the back of his arm. He grabbed a beer from the counter with the tips of his fingers and frowned. He couldn't wrap his bloody palm around the bottle opener and the glass in his palm wouldn't let him twist the cap off.

When Germany came into the kitchen, his brother was fighting the cap of his beer with his teeth.

"Gilbert?"

Prussia started, almost dropping the bottle. "West! Go back to sleep!"

"It's two in the morning, Gilbert. What are you doing?"

"Never too early to party, am I right?"

Germany strode over to his brother and took the beer from him. He started at the sight of so much blood. "What did you do to your hands?"

"Finger painting," Prussia hissed. "What's it look like?"

Germany sighed and twisted the bottle open in one quick motion. "Sit down. I'll go get the first aid kit."

…

Prussia bit down on the straw in his beer as Germany pulled another shard of glass out of his palm. He hissed through his nose and Germany looked at him, annoyed.

"How did you manage this?" Germany said.

"Well, it's not like I was trying!" Prussia protested. "Gimme a break!"

"So tell me what happened." Germany held Prussia's wrist steady as he slowly extracted a piece of red glass. "Because I find it hard to believe you caused this much damage on accident."

"That's skill for ya," Prussia winced.

Germany paused and looked his brother in the eye. "Did you have a nightmare?"

Prussia sighed and sipped his beer through the straw. "Yeah."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"No."

Germany twisted a shard of glass slightly in Prussia's palm.

"AUGH! OKAY! OKAY, I'LL TALK!"

Germany dabbed the alcohol and blood-soaked cloth on Prussia's burning hand and waited.

Prussia sighed and glared at his beer. "I had another nightmare about Russia," he murmured.

Germany silently pulled the last shard out of Prussia's first hand. He chewed his lip thoughtfully.

Prussia sighed. "I know, I know. It's not exactly a fun topic to talk about. Let's talk about why you fell asleep in your study again."

Germany opened a packet of gauze and wrapped it, almost tenderly, around Prussia's hand. "No, that's… we should be able to talk about this. What Ivan did to you was… horrible. And I want you to feel like you can talk about it with me."

Prussia's closed his eyes against the onslaught of tears. "No, that's okay. I don't want to talk about that."

"If you're having nightmares-"

"West, _no_," Prussia blushed furiously. "Something like that isn't okay to talk about with my little brother. It's already a pathetic enough situation without me whining about it to you. I'm not talking about it."

Germany quietly taped the gauze in place and started washing the cuts on the other hand with alcohol. Prussia hissed.

"I'm sorry," Germany murmured.

"S'fine," Prussia said through his teeth. "S'all good."

They sat in silence for a bit while Germany pulled glass out of the second hand. He was noticeably gentler.

Prussia tried to smile reassuringly, but it came out as a grimace. "Anyway," he said. "It wasn't about that. I mean, I woke up before."

Germany looked up. "What else did he do that made you smash a lamp?"

"Accident, West! Accident!"

Germany smiled and patted the blood away with the cloth.

"Well, I mean," Prussia said. "You know Russia. He knows how to hit you where it hurts. I guess I was just thinking about some of the stuff he said."

Germany frowned. "What did he say?"

Prussia went silent and sipped the beer through the straw.

"Bruder?"

"Did you want me to die?" Prussia whispered.

Germany looked confused. "What?"

"I mean," Prussia despaired, "I'm not stupid. I know I'm not the easiest person to be around. I'm obnoxious and loud and I don't think anything through. I just need to know if you'd be happier right now if I had died over there."

Germany slammed his forceps on the table angrily and Prussia jumped.

"_Really_?" he said. "You're _really_ asking that?"

"Sorry!" Prussia yelled.

"How could you possibly think that? After everything that's happened!"

"Gimme a break! It's a pretty legit idea, considering!"

"No," Germany said. "It's idiotic. How can you possibly think I'd be happier with you dead? What have I ever said to give you that idea?"

"West, dude. I'm sorry. Forget I said anything."

Germany gripped the armrests on Prussia's chair and glared at him. "Do you remember the wall? _Every single morning_ I called over just so I could reassure myself that there was a chance you'd answer. _Every single night_ I called over so that maybe you'd hear my voice and know there was someone waiting for you."

Prussia's eyes burned with tears and he rubbed his face with the back of his bandaged hand. Germany pulled Prussia's hand away and clutched it to his chest.

"I sent you letters every day. Even after Austria tried to tell me that you were probably dead. I wrote every day. I knew that Russia was probably destroying them, but I kept going because maybe he wasn't and one would get to you some day. And I waited and waited, but you never wrote back. I have never been as scared as I was when I was waiting for you."

A tear slipped down Prussia's cheek and Germany wiped it away gently. "I thought maybe you'd forgotten me," he said. "Maybe, despite everything, you were happier with Russia. I didn't know, I had no idea what was happening. Until Elizaveta escaped. And the first thing I did was ask about you, and she went silent. I felt sick."

"I didn't know you wrote me," Prussia murmured.

"I know. Elizaveta said Ivan burned all your letters. She said he was keeping you chained up in the basement. She told me what he did to you. I wanted to kill him, Gilbert. I wanted to kill him so bad. As soon as Elizaveta came back, I went to that wall and I screamed and pounded and beat it until I passed out. And when I woke up, I beat against it again, until Austria and Hungary pulled me away."

Prussia smiled softly. "That was the first time Russia had let me out of the basement in a year. I heard you."

"I wasn't going to stop screaming until I was sure you heard me," Germany said. "I would have stood at that wall for years. You can't imagine how happy I was when I heard your voice for the first time in almost thirty years."

"Why? I told you to shut up."

Germany's eyes shined and he wrapped his arms around his brother's waist. "'Shut up, West, I hear you.' I wept, Gilbert. I was so relieved to know that you were okay."

"Didn't sound like it. You said 'Get back here, you idiot, it's your turn to take out the trash.'"

Germany laughed and hugged his brother tighter. "But you came home. You went straight up to Russia, told him to go fuck himself and took a sledgehammer to the wall. I was so excited to see you that I ripped the wall apart. And we broke it, Bruder. We destroyed the wall together."

Prussia smiled and buried his face in Germany's shoulder. "I missed you."

"I missed you too. And some nights I forget that you're home now and I have to see you and make sure you're safe."

Prussia pulled away. "Hey! I don't need protecting! Not from my little brother!"

Germany smiled and pulled Prussia close. "There was a time when I didn't think I needed protecting. But you saved me, even though it almost killed you. That was the first time I'd ever felt loved in my life. And I will never stop loving you for that."

"Are you drunk?" Prussia asked.

Germany ignored him. "I don't know what I would have done if you had died," he said. "Austria tried to tell me to admit you could be dead every day. He thought it would help me when they finally brought your body to me."

"Fucking Specs."

"But I didn't listen. This was the man who threw his sword to the ground rather than strike someone he loved. This man has taken more bullets than I have ever shot. This man was willing to give me every drop of blood in his body so I could be happy. There was no way I could accept that you'd be dead, Gilbert. And no way I could be happy if you were."

Prussia rubbed the tears back into his eyes. "I just… sometimes I wonder why. It's not like I make life easy for you."

"That's true," Germany said. "You have a way of making simple things difficult for no other reason than 'the hell of it.'"

"I'm sorry."

"I'm not. Every time you say something stupid or do something idiotic or piss someone off just because you don't like them, I feel relieved. You're getting to be your old self, before Russia. You can laugh again. Do you know how long it took for you to start laughing after you came home?"

Prussia looked confused. "The first thing I did was laugh when you asked me if I was okay."

Germany opened two new beers and handed one to Prussia. "You know I know when you're faking. But now, it's real. Now I can almost believe you're okay."

"I _am _okay," Prussia said, annoyed."

Germany pressed his forehead to his brother's. "Not yet. But you will be."

Germany set back to cleaning and wrapping Prussia's second hand.

Prussia bit his lip. "Why are you being so weird?"

Germany kissed his brother's wrapped hand. "I love you, Gilbert. I love you more than I'm comfortable saying. But on nights like these, when you need to hear it the most, I don't mind being a little weird. As long as you don't tell people."

Prussia smiled. "Not even France?"

"_Especially_ not France," Germany grimaced. "You tell France and I'll send you to Elizaveta for punishment."

"Ah, then I can tell Liz?"

"She'll never believe you."

"Oh! I'll tell Feli!"

"He knows," Germany smiled.

"Dude, you take all the fun out of blackmail."

Germany stood up and kissed his brother's forehead. "It's late. Time for bed."

Germany walked out of the kitchen and Prussia sat for a while, staring at the blooming crimson on his bandages. After the wall came down, Germany had shied away from talking about emotional stuff. Prussia figured it was just who he was. He didn't know how badly his brother was hurt by the Berlin Wall. Honestly, he never thought that his brother cared that much. But Germany spent thirty years missing Prussia. And to Prussia, that could only mean…

"I'm awesome."

Prussia grinned widely and stood up. "I'm awesome! I knew it!"

He ran to his brother's bedroom where Germany was already lying in bed. "West! I'm awesome!"

Germany opened his eyes and smiled. "Okay."

"I'm serious! I'm so awesome that you missed me!"

"Go to sleep, Gilbert."

Prussia folded his arms and smirked. "If I leave, you'll miss me. And then you will be sad."

Germany rolled his eyes and lifted the covers. "Get in and go to sleep, _dummkopf_."

Prussia grinned happily and slid into Germany's bed. "Are you sure you're alright sleeping? I know how much you miss me when you close your eyes."

Germany groaned and threw his arm over his face. "You make it really difficult to be nice to you."

"Shhh, West. Don't say anything. Just bask in the warmth of my awesome."

"Shut up."

Prussia waited until he heard Germany's breathing change before he turned to face his sleeping brother. He watched Germany's face soften in sleep and he smiled.

"I love you too," he whispered.


End file.
